As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I wear my crown of thorns and pull the knife out my chest
I keep searching for something that I never seem to find
But maybe I won't, because I left it all behind
Now I'm stuck with this, and that'll never change
Always a part of me, until the very last day
Where to go from here? What road to travel on?
I spent my whole life choosing, and it always chose wrong
Will I try to have the will to be alive?
Will I try because I've never seen the light?
Sweet words from the mouths of demons. The way things seem everything sweet in this world is spoken by something evil for ill intent. Perhaps we're to the point where only degenerate actions get anyone what they really want. We push off our urges throwing up our inhibitions just to end up miserable and regretful. We regret those things we wanted to do but never did because we were too afraid to jump. That fall may be far but it's worth it. Sometimes you have to risk it all to have it all but can you hit the ground running? If not you're completely fucked. You have to stay fluid yet firm. Like a river we can be raging torrents or we can be peaceful flowing streams. It's up to you to decide how much you want to fight the current and how much pain you can handle because sometimes you have to tear yourself to ribbons to get what you want.
I know this a little too well.
Maybe today will be the day I rip myself apart and scatter my ashes to the wind.
Maybe it's just another day spent in a waking dream.
Maybe I'm just wasting my time.
Maybe. Just maybe. I've got it all figured out and everything is going according to plan but I'm in too much denial to see it.
Guess we'll find out.
Close your eyes and dream for a while.
It will all be over soon.

https://youtu.be/w_UTQxTpDqk