>>703211I figure I'd go back to 8th grade. There was this girl named Mandy Albrecht who was sisters with April Hockenberry but they had two different dad's or something. I dunno. It was weird. Anyways, what was I sayin'? Oh yeah- Mandy "Allbreasts" as we used to call her. Well, not in front of Ted, I mean of course, cuz he was datin her which is how we all kind of knew her but never as well as we wanted to cuz this girl had some serious tits and like everyone noticed but no one could ever really say anything when Ted was 'round. Cuz this one time Luziak, the guy behind me in homeroom- not the one with the birthmark, the one with the down-syndrome-looking face that wore the same yellow stripey shirt all the time, that Luziak- anyways Luziak blurted out right in front of Ted, 'damn your girl's got huge tits!" right at Ted and of course half the class heard him and starts snorting laughs and shit but no one can really say anything cuz its fucking Luziak and everyone knows the kid aint right in the head somehow anyways and everyone knows the story about him and the dog so no one is going to call Luziak on it, right? And neither can Ted because either (a) Luziak will freak out and throw Ted out the window with his tard-strength or (b) Luziak wont understand why Ted is upset and then Ted looks like he is picking on Luziak and shaming him for being tarded and now Ted looks like an asshole. So you see the predicament Ted is in, right? So the problem is that Luziak hears people laughing and apparently thinks they are laughing at Mandy, because in his mind, thats what he was talking about so they must be laughing at her. So now Luziak thinks Ted is embarrassed because Luziak thinks the class is laughing at Mandy. So Luziak gets in his head that he needs to rescue Ted- fuck, I forgot to tell you about Mandy's tits. Alright, so Mandy's main competition was Amber Lewskwicz, the girl that transferred out from 10th, Miss Melansky's room, and they said it - shit Im out of space
