>>70371341-3 drinks in I'm an edgelord.
3-6 drinks in I'm a politician and philosopher (aka professor normie)
6-9 drinks in I'm a straight up whore and horny as fuck.
10-13 drinks and even I don't know what happens then but I've heard tales from puking in the bar and getting kicked out only to hit a deer while riding with my drunk driving homies to later try to suck dick for a cigarette to stealing my sugar mommas car, charging $3,000 to her credit card in 4 hours and totaling her car 10 miles outside the Vegas city limit only to end up at a cheap motel on the stip with 4 strippers, 3 black guys and $4,000 cash. Woke up the next morning with 2 strippers bacon and eggs cooking and a bottle of Captain Morgan Silver halfway up my ass.
>this isn't pasta or satire but I wish it was 
