Kia Ora!

My name is Davis Lomu.

I’m a 27 year old American Rugger (Rugby fan for you uneducated). I watch and discuss all things Rugby on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my knowledge and playing superior British Commonwealth games.

I train with my Gilbert every day, this superior ball can cut clean through the air because of the renowned torpedo punt kick and spiral cut-out pass techniques, and is vastly superior to any other ball on earth. I bought my first pair of Rugby "boots" two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Kiwi fluently, both the North and the South Island dialects as well as Maori, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Christchurch history and their earthquake building codes, which I follow 100%.

When I get my New Zealand visa, I am moving to Christchurch to attend the prestigious Christchurch Boys' High School to learn more about their magnificent culture and their illustrious rivalry with Christ's College. I hope I can earn a spot on the school's First XV!

I own several pairs of jandals, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to New Zealand, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my cuzzies and speak Maori as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in New Zealand!