I wanna die

I mean I haven’t been doing anything, I haven’t been reading, I haven’t been studying, I haven’t watched a film. All I have been doing is playing Dragon Quest and browsing on 4chan. I feel like I am turning into a puddle, like I am becoming worthless and stupid, I disappoint myself every day. I haven’t studied once in the past few weeks, nor have I done anything worthwhile with my time. I look at the current state of /bant/ and get depressed since I feel that I don’t have anything left.

I abandoned this board for a few weeks to go to a board that I hate, /v/, because I was playing Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest and my ‘tism wanted me to keep doing things that reminded me of that. I have no idea why I was at /v/, I hate everything about the board, but I kept going back and wasting my time there.

Today instead of studying I did something pathetic, I went through the archives of /bant/ trying to look for my old posts. This was because I came here at day 2, and abandoned the board for a large amount months coming back at June, I barely remember a lot of oldfag things on this board so I wasted my time going through the archives to prove to myself that I was here since day 2. This is how retarded I am.

I haven’t studied I weeks, I am going to fail. I feel like I am becoming a shadow of myself, I haven’t done anything at all in recent times.