I am trying a new strategy. I am depriving myself of all indulgence.
For example: I am an avid music listener, so I am forbidding myself from listening to music.
Doing the same with all my interests.
Hopefully, I will build enough courage to finally end my miserable life in the next few days. That, or I will discover that I am capable of creating good things myself, which is extremely unlikely.

Glory be the day.