>>7101198You are where you are, at this moment, and Shrek is spawns in a random location within 50 miles with a pinpoint tracker of your exact location and current status. His skeleton is superhumanly dense and covered in several layers of thick blubber, rendering him effectively immune to anything below .50 cal, and highly resistance to stronger ordnance. As stated earlier, he's skilled enough to defeat 20+ knights in hand-to-hand combat unarmed, and strong enough to uproot an oak tree with no visible effort.
He has superior endurance and can't keep going indefinitely, requiring at least 4 hours of sleep to function. Shrek has nothing but Donkey, and limited plot armor, tilting the odds in his favor so long as things remain at least moderately amusing to an outside viewer.
