>>713114Being atrocious at conversation, I decided to steer our newly formed conversation in what I considered to be the typical direction. I asked what her name was, where she was originally from (India, surprisingly), and if she was excited about the new school year. I learned that she had just moved here from another city in-state, and didn't know anyone here.
Being a socially retarded person who hadn't carried a full conversation for a good three or four years, I thought it would be best to declare myself her first new friend at her new high school and take it upon myself to be her personal ambassador and outreach to others. I stuck around her for a few days, which turned into weeks, then months. During that time, I became increasingly obsessive and stalkerish towards her, my only and first friend. I tried to learn as much about her as I could. I recorded her outfits everyday, I wrote down all her little likes and dislikes, what quirks she had, etc. I even begn doing heavy research on Islam (I was already obsessive about religious study, but this just redoubled and refocused my purpose in the topic). At this point, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, mind you, I thought this was what friendship was like.
During this time, even if what I thought was friendship was undoubtedly toxic and disturbing, me being with her had helped me at least some. I wasn't suicidal or even that depressed anymore, I had a new obsession, a new reason to get out of bed every morning.
This all couldn't last forever though. She stayed with me and put up with me for as long as she could, but it all had to come crashing down eventually. She snapped at me after school one day and just started to pour out how she couldn't handle me being around her in the capacity that I was. She understood how I thought, she got that I didn't know better, and she genuinely did care about me, but the way I was could not be something she could be around.
(Continued)
