>>7177949Christmas triggers my PTSD of my dad beating me up around that time 13 years ago, when I was 11. I still have a scar on my nose from when he threw me face first against a brick wall. The reason he was beating me up is because I was crying since mom had left without saying anything and hadn't contacted us at all in over a week. Turns out she was cheating on him with some other guy, and they divorced later. Every year around christmas time I can't sleep well, I get really nervous and angry, and I just feel like everybody is expecting me to be their friend around this time when the ony thing I want is to curl up and die because I have very violent urges but I hate that part of myself because I know what it feels like to be powerless when another person you thoughht you could trust beats you up for something that isn't your fault.
