>>7184128no
I actually can make myself look manly I've been working out a lot and I try to dress well. Once you have those two things the rest is all attitude adjustment to keep up the appearance
>>7184130Damn son. I've never tried rehab. Drugs are the only thing keeping me sane. What do you mean when you say it's just a reframed way to see drugs?
This is actually the most crazy part of the whole deal. I don't feel anything for this girl. Well I respect her because she's a pretty impressive person (grade A student, many creative talents, still very humble) but that's about it. I've been working on my appearance and behavior to make myself look (superficially) like a better person and shit. And it started working, I was getting more positive attention everywhere I went. And before I knew it, it started working too well and I got caught up in my own bullshit. So I chased this girl and I kissed her, not because I wanted to but just to see if I could pull it off. It was sort of like a personal achievement, to make myself feel like I can make my way back into regular society doing regular things. The most twistedly, almost hilarious part of the whole story, I started going back to my shrink to hear his opinion on these extreme changes in my life. And he confirmed a personality disorder diagnosis. I'm literally, biologically incapable of loving someone. The girl is doomed to be hurt by me at some point in the future, it's only a matter of time
