Need help making crude Christmas cards.
Every year around Christmas, I have a tradition of making Offensive Christmas cards. Or at least Christmas cards that are abrupt, crude, and not Politically correct.

Example:

>Front of card
Figgy Pudding, Figgy Pudding
>Open card
What the fuck is Figgy Pudding?

Gotta be Christmas related.

I need to make 2 of them total.

Any of you guys have any ideas on what to make? It gets harder every year.