has r/banter ever ever ever had to go take a poopoo but your poopoo is not solid but its not runny either and its like a really sludgy slow liquid brapbrap and you have to squeeze it out because it won't come out easily so you strain your sphincter muscles to squeeze out your poopoo paste and you apologize for abusing your sphincter muscles and your sphincter muscles respond "it's okay" but the poopoo paste came out funny and gets tangled in all the twiddly hairs around my bumhole and your like oh come on because now my butthole hair forest is full of poopoo chunks and you don't have running water because its way too cold outside so you can't get a shower and you look to the side and cant find any toilet paper and your like "oh no where's the toilet" paper and a sense of dread overtakes you because you're on the toilet without toilet paper with stinky poopoo brapbraps stuck to your anal hairs and you realize it's time to be a man so you use your hands and reach your hands down underneath you and start trying to pick the brapbrap poopoo from your hairs and your hand is covered in poopoo and you have no running water so the only way to clean it is to lick it off but it can't be that bad since poopoo is just processed foodfood so you eat the poopoo on your hands and taste last night's liver oinions and mushrooms and it tastes nice but your hairs are still covered in brapbrap so you decide to pull out your bumhairs and you start doing so but the hairs are firmly planted and you start tearing the skin and oh god a big patch of skin starts tearing off and the tear reaches into your bumbum hole and it really really hurts and theres blood everywhere ??