is it weird that i never wanted to actually pursue sexual relationships with any of my crushes?
i only wanted to do that with one person before, and we were already in love and discussing the prospect for a while by the time i wanted to become one with her.
but we broke up, because my mother convinced me that she wasn't really into me, and she told me that i shouldn't talk to her about what she said, or at all.
i cried a bit that day.
a few days later, my girlfriend managed to get in touch with me, and i immediately realized it was my fault, and i told her that i didn't do right by her, she deserved better, and she told me that she hopes i will be happy just as the person i am, and we both decided it would be best for us to part ways.
i cried even harder that day.
i still think of her sometimes, but not sexually, that ship has sailed.
so now it's like it was before, sometimes i get crushes, but i'm not really interested in having sex with any of them, or anyone else. yea, having a girlfriend would be nice, but i don't really pine over it, nor am i really active in trying to date.
to be honest, the day we my ex-girlfriend approached me, and i even tried to push her away before we started dating. but she said something that made me start really warming up to her.
i'm really happy that i met her, and i'm glad she had such a profound impact on me. but i thought of having sex only with her, and only well into the time while we were still dating, but that time had come and gone, and i'm not sad about it.

is it normal for me to be so reserved when it comes to sex?