Growing up means learning from your past and letting it go. You can't live in the shadow of what you use to be. That time is over and nothing you do now will ever take that back. You have to own it. I know you've done some fucked up shit but we all have. We all regret it and cringe at night when we can't sleep. Just remember you can move past it if you dedicate yourself to change. Sure you can't take back what you did or makeup for it but you can ensure that in the future it won't happen again.
Don't let your past rule you anon because the future belongs to you.
You're more than just a man with these broken dreams and even you can go to heaven if you part the sea.
Now let it out anon and let it go.

Michelle. You'll never read this and I'll never speak to you again so maybe it's for the better. You stole my shit, drained my bank account and left me in the drop of a hat. It's torn me up for 5 years but now I can say I forgive you. I'll never forget but you were just a young girl who was afraid. You did what you felt was necessary. It's okay. All that stuff was just memories anyway. I won't let the feelings you dumped on me interfere with my life anymore.

https://youtu.be/VRDEWANy6P8