[45 / 6 / ?]
It's a bit of a long read but I've got nowhere else to share
>Meet girl on online forum she's 18 I was 15
>Become friends
>Become extremely close she's the only one that understands me on any significant level
>A few years down the line we finally meet up and ended up getting into a relationship the week after
>She makes me feel loved, safe, warm and cared about unlike any other girl I've had before or since
>Literally the best thing that ever happend to me
>Went on many trips together
>We were literally euphoric for over 3 years
>Shit got bad after 4 years
>Just stupid arugments that mounted up over time
>Stupid arguments became massive fights
>I couldn't keep doing this repedative cycle of massive fihts, making up just to have us blow up again a few days later
>It's Christmas eve
>We get into the biggest fight I've ever had
>hadenoughofthis.jpg
>I broke up with her
>Intense heartbreak for over a year
>Get incredibly depressed
>Heavily suicidal, drink every single night
>Only the good memories with her keep me going
>Finally get over it some how
>Still massivly depressed
>Lost a lot of friends at this point
>Alcoholism getting worse
>Only thing that keeps me going are memories of the good times with her
>Believing in that kind of love and the possibilty of getting it with someone else is all I have left in the way of hope
>Sitting alone in my room drunk as usual
>Failing college and living of less than 4 bucks a day in an expensive country to live
>Rock fucking bottom thorougly hit
>She messages me
>Decide to catch up a solid year after the break up
>We talk the same night
>She casually tells me she's actually a lesbian
>Mfw the best thing that happend to me was a lie
>All those moments mean nothing anymore
>Every laugh, every romantic moment every single good thing in my memories is now fucked beyond repair
>Tell her I'm confused, she understands
>Just got back to bed from talking to her
I've fucking lost all will to live
I can't fucking do this anymore
>Meet girl on online forum she's 18 I was 15
>Become friends
>Become extremely close she's the only one that understands me on any significant level
>A few years down the line we finally meet up and ended up getting into a relationship the week after
>She makes me feel loved, safe, warm and cared about unlike any other girl I've had before or since
>Literally the best thing that ever happend to me
>Went on many trips together
>We were literally euphoric for over 3 years
>Shit got bad after 4 years
>Just stupid arugments that mounted up over time
>Stupid arguments became massive fights
>I couldn't keep doing this repedative cycle of massive fihts, making up just to have us blow up again a few days later
>It's Christmas eve
>We get into the biggest fight I've ever had
>hadenoughofthis.jpg
>I broke up with her
>Intense heartbreak for over a year
>Get incredibly depressed
>Heavily suicidal, drink every single night
>Only the good memories with her keep me going
>Finally get over it some how
>Still massivly depressed
>Lost a lot of friends at this point
>Alcoholism getting worse
>Only thing that keeps me going are memories of the good times with her
>Believing in that kind of love and the possibilty of getting it with someone else is all I have left in the way of hope
>Sitting alone in my room drunk as usual
>Failing college and living of less than 4 bucks a day in an expensive country to live
>Rock fucking bottom thorougly hit
>She messages me
>Decide to catch up a solid year after the break up
>We talk the same night
>She casually tells me she's actually a lesbian
>Mfw the best thing that happend to me was a lie
>All those moments mean nothing anymore
>Every laugh, every romantic moment every single good thing in my memories is now fucked beyond repair
>Tell her I'm confused, she understands
>Just got back to bed from talking to her
I've fucking lost all will to live
I can't fucking do this anymore
