Do any of you love a brainwashed person and does it hurt you?

If it's family or friends it doesn't seem to matter: in the case of family you love them unconditionally, and for the latter you are not expected to care that much about how they go about living their lives. When it comes a significant other, however, the combination of these instances hit the ceiling like a brick. You are expected to respect their opinion and love them unconditionally, and still exist compassionately and respect yourself. What gives? What can you do?