As you are aware, the Dastardly Danish have been toiling away in their workshops, attempting to create a weapon of mass psychological warfare. It is my understanding that this plan is now in its last stage of development. Simply put, the Danish are inventing another language, even less intelligible than their old. With this weapon at their disposal, they will attempt to confuse poor Swedish and Norwegian tourists who are unfortunate enough to visit Copenhagen, possibly as soon as this April. Side effects of this may include confusing good beer for danish beer in grocery stores, accidentally eating danish rye bread, and there have been reports of lab rats beginning to squeak like they have something permanently lodged in their throats.
The situation is dire, my Swedish brothers and sisters, and we need your help to defeat the Danish Menace once and for all. I propose we unite together and open our borders completely to each other, allowing the Swedish to enter Norway for work more easily, and the Norwegians to bring more Swedish beer back home without paying toll fees. What say you, old friend?
This might be our only chance of survival, I'm afraid...
