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feel like all my struggles are for nothing, i'm in dire need of human contact and is killing me. Looking at all my friends and people of my age getting married, having a stable job, living their lives, and instead i'm here fighting with the demons in my head since 2 years ago and still can't get rid of them. Sometimes i fall asleep at night thinking "why me?" and contemplating if i should have even try to fight them or just let myself die like i planned in the beginning