>>7632429Well you're a fellow brit, so you'd need to find some kind of zoo.
Pay for a ticket and hide until closing time.
Wait until the bear is asleep and climb the fence.
Lubricate your hands and sneak up on the bear.
Slip both hands into the bear up to your wrists.
Shout FUCK YOU BEAR at the top of your voice.
Bear will be startled and the shock will make its anus contract.
Your hands should remain in the bear.
