be British
never say thing straight in your life
meet a girl
she says "I'm not quite sure I'm unavailable"
get married
wife says "I'm not quite sure I want to die childless"
later says "I'm not really having period anymore"
go to doctor to see baby's gender
doctor says "it's not quite a girl"
baby is born
relatives say "not too shabby", "not like we wouldn't wish him not quite the worst in life"
suddenly American relative says "congratulations!"
get flabbergasted at the gall of this wanker who dared to say a thing straight
stab him with a fork