>>7855768i never claimed to be one
I am a sadist, though. Inflicting pain is a form of expression for me. One quote that made me feel better about it was one from Hannibal; Extreme acts of cruelty require a high level of empathy. Although I like inflicting pain, I don't like causing it unjustly, and I don't like seeing people suffer. I have a pretty black and white sense of justice and follow that.
I'm gonna armchair psychoanalyse myself for a moment here. I think that I am a sadist because every single moment of my life that I can remember involved me suffering. So much pain that words can't express it. I'm like a cornered animal. So naturally, I'd feel an adrenaline rush striking back. Defending myself. Also, I'd feel... what's the word I'm looking for...kind of like absolution... catharsis, for expressing my feelings. Yet, despite this, I don't like seeing other people suffer, because I know what it is to suffer. That in itself is a type of pain that fuels this cycle. But that's why I took up martial arts as a hobby. It's a constructive outlet for a destructive energy, though I doubt I'm ever going pro.
