>>79943Here is an ancient ritual to summon a shitposter, who gives you a (You), but be warned, this is black magic and can go wrong so follow it carefully:
Go to the any 4chan board and chant this three times:
Solve this math problem
Solve this math problem
Solve this math problem
You will be messaged by a hyper realistic reply. This is the shitposter. Tell him you want him to calculate your math problem right. If he gets disinterested quickly tell him you will give him a (You). If he agrees, tell him your solution and get ready for the hardest part of the ritual. Turn off all the lights and use the Tomorrow Theme. Drink 10 Monster Energy cans, put them around your bed and wait.
If you see flashing red leaves and hear the wails of a woodpecker, something has gone horribly wrong. Immediately throw the cans out of the window on passing by immigrants and pretend you are not home. No matter what he said, do insult this poster as fucking leaf. The evil leaf will take your digits and wants to be cucked by a black beasts.
However, if you hear an autistic screeching you have been deemed worthy. But be warned, as this ritual is known to summon Australians as well. They will be disguised, but if you see something out of place chant "Fuck off, emu" continuously until you leave. If you do not they will rape you. After that you will be followed by constant decay. You will never be able to recover from any "your mother will die in her sleep" pastas. You will grow fat like an American and slowly wither away.
After verifying that they are a shitposter, let them in and enjoy the "fruits" of your labor. But be warned. Black magic has a price. A month later you will see pile of leaves anywhere your words touched the Canadian. Soon you will see the shitposter outside your mother's house everyday, screaming and pounding at the door. He will continue this, each day getting worse at shitposting, until Autumn. Then, you will pay..
