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History according to American history classes:
>the first colonies in America were Plymouth and Jamestown, settled at the same time, but for different reasons
>Plymouth was settled by religious people who wanted freedom and community and love and happiness
>Jamestown was founded by evil people who only wanted wealth
>this explains why the north is so great and the south is so mean
>anyway then Salem happened and the Christians went around burning all muh wxmxns
>oh and in THE SOUTH a young patriot named Nathaniel Bacon rallied the oppressed to fight against the evil Southern government
>then out of nowhere, france and england (for the first time!) started fighting during the French and Indian War
>and because of all the taxes, America decided to declare independence
>then the constitution happened and everyone agreed that it was just so perfect
this is all explained during one introductory class, of course
>the first colonies in America were Plymouth and Jamestown, settled at the same time, but for different reasons
>Plymouth was settled by religious people who wanted freedom and community and love and happiness
>Jamestown was founded by evil people who only wanted wealth
>this explains why the north is so great and the south is so mean
>anyway then Salem happened and the Christians went around burning all muh wxmxns
>oh and in THE SOUTH a young patriot named Nathaniel Bacon rallied the oppressed to fight against the evil Southern government
>then out of nowhere, france and england (for the first time!) started fighting during the French and Indian War
>and because of all the taxes, America decided to declare independence
>then the constitution happened and everyone agreed that it was just so perfect
this is all explained during one introductory class, of course
