anyone feel like they know their ideal life but they just never live it?

lately i've realised just how much anxiety has hindered my ability to make meaningful connections with people, and i know why its so bad. i never really do anything to prevent it though, still slamming black coffee and cigarettes.

at least i'm happy with my appearance now and i've got a lot more money. and sometimes i feel like i'm genuinely happy to be alive but sometimes it feels like i'm still going nowhere?

thanks 4 reading muh blog