>buddy from college killed himself after fighting the GWOT but losing The War At Home
>lost almost 30 lbs this year, been able to hook up but women still run like hell when I let my guard down and just be the real me
>did nofap but just have trouble getting it up with actual women now
>talking to the one that got away, she's unhappily married with a kid but only now tells me she married the wrong man
>shit job with no benefits and few hours
>fell for the learn to code name but can't afford to move anywhere, not senior enough for a remote position
>car's engine blew up and totaled it
>I just wish I could be good enough to find a woman who isn't some sort of lesson
>fucked my shoulder up lifting stuff at work, can't bench press or OHP for a while
>still go to gym, strongest and fittest I've ever been
>quit smoking weed and doing any drugs

The fuck is the point of it all? I feel like I've put in a ton of effort in the last year and a half to try unfucking my life but my life isn't improving. I don't feel like I'm mapping any progress towards any goals I have, and any time I do set a goal and achieve it I feel like a fraud swing the bar too low