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Monkey's Paw thread

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:41:20 No.834880 View View Reply Original Report

You may wish for anything but the anon below you comes up with an unfornuate catch.

Example:
>I wish for a million dollars

It's been stolen from a bank and now the police are after you.

I'll start

>I wish I was futanari

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ryvzdl8m Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:42:40 No.834889 Report

Quoted By: >>834897 >>834905 >>834912

>>834880
Yes but it's someone else's dick

>I wish I could lose weight easily and healthily

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QL3lyjMI Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:44:03 No.834897 Report

Quoted By:

>>834889
Become shorter the less you weigh ultimately becoming a manlet

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0/MJA5Ki Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:44:45 No.834905 Report

Quoted By: >>834922 >>834924 >>834937

>>834889
Yes but the only weight you lose comes from muscle mass and not fat

>I wish that I could do well in school again

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:45:04 No.834909 Report

Quoted By: >>834937

>I wish to have the will power to rape Kiersten

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:45:11 No.834912 Report

Quoted By: >>834929 >>834941 >>834943

>>834889
Everyone around you becomes fatter instead.

>I wish I could kill anyone without legal repercussions

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:46:13 No.834922 Report

Quoted By:

>>834905
By doing "extra credit" with your male teacher after school

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QL3lyjMI Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:46:38 No.834924 Report

Quoted By:

>>834905
>>834905
born in uganda. top of your class.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:SvQ8l1dP Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:47:04 No.834929 Report

Quoted By:

>>834912
you're still subject to normal repurcussions, but don't know until the first kill, which many people will know about

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QL3lyjMI Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:47:13 No.834930 Report

Quoted By: >>834950

I wish this monkey paw wouldnt curse me for this wish.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:47:42 No.834937 Report

Quoted By: >>834955 >>834980

>>834905
Hope you enjoy having to go through High School again.

>>834909
You now have reached enlightenment and no longer desire to rape her

>I wish people would give me more (you)s

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0/MJA5Ki Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:47:59 No.834941 Report

Quoted By:

>>834912
Yes but everyone knows who you killed and why you killed them

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:48:20 No.834943 Report

Quoted By:

>>834912
But everytime you murder someone you lose your memory from the week

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:49:20 No.834950 Report

Quoted By: >>834964

>>834930
Nothing happens, you remain yourself, the worst curse of them all.

>I wish for a badass Stand

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:50:07 No.834955 Report

Quoted By:

>>834937
But its from ameri-fats

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO kill.jpg, 270KiB, 750x728

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:50:39 No.834960 Report

Quoted By: >>834972 >>834982

>>834880
I wish that I had permanently overcome my social retardation before high school.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:51:10 No.834964 Report

Quoted By:

>>834950
You get tired and sit

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:52:03 No.834972 Report

Quoted By: >>834999

>>834960
You get banned from 4chan for being underage.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Tanya61.jpg, 86KiB, 480x888

Anonymous ID:dekS45mZ Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:52:27 No.834980 Report

Quoted By: >>834989 >>834992 >>835006

>>834937
But none of the yous are dubs
>I wish my waifu was real.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:52:59 No.834982 Report

Quoted By: >>835043

>>834960
Each successful social interaction gives you another nipple on your body somewhere

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:UBgJZAYQ Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:54:03 No.834989 Report

Quoted By: >>835002 >>835008 >>835012

>>834980
she is real but she fucking hates you

wish: i wish for great gainz until im 195lb 8% bodyfat then i stay like that forever

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Steinsgate-07-mayuri-hug-cute-co (...).jpg, 43KiB, 1280x720

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:54:18 No.834992 Report

Quoted By:

>>834980
I wish my waifu was real too anon

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:55:33 No.834999 Report

Quoted By: >>835009

>>834972
B-but high school was a long time ago...

>>834972
That's not really ironic or at all related to my wish.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:55:56 No.835002 Report

Quoted By: >>835106

>>834989
You suck a cock each day to keep your body like that or else it instantly becomes fatass again

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:56:17 No.835006 Report

Quoted By:

>>834980
She's real but she will only stay with you if you let her cuck you with black bulls.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:56:39 No.835008 Report

Quoted By: >>835015

>>834989
But you are now invisible.

>I wish my house was more interesting

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:56:42 No.835009 Report

Quoted By: >>835043

>>834999
>replying to the same post twice

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:dekS45mZ Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:56:53 No.835012 Report

Quoted By: >>835023 >>835024

>>834989
But you're penis size shrinks.
>I wish for a tank to drive around it.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:57:41 No.835015 Report

Quoted By:

>>835008
You own an authentic 100% pube hair carpet

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pqe5qxI9 Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:59:04 No.835023 Report

Quoted By:

>>835012
Your asshole is now gaping

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 05:59:18 No.835024 Report

Quoted By: >>835718 >>835721

>>835012
It's an oil tanker.

>any time I do something gay I can say "no homo" and nobody will consider it gay

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 06:01:15 No.835043 Report

Quoted By:

>>835009
Yeah, I just noticed that. Second reply was meant for

>>834982

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 06:11:28 No.835106 Report

Quoted By: >>835641

>>835002
Where is my porn of this?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:24:53 No.835641 Report

Quoted By: >>835652

>>835106
It's encoded in .flv, 240p, at 14 fps.

If only one of those can be applied, it's 14 fps.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:27:25 No.835652 Report

Quoted By: >>835711

>>835641
fuck.

>I wish Leafs take over the world

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:34:46 No.835711 Report

Quoted By:

>>835652
NDP Majority Rule.

fortune

fortune ID:StGSMreB Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:35:23 No.835718 Report

Quoted By: >>835766

>>835024
Everyone subject to the effects of this is mentally warped in order to accommodate logical continuity in unpredictable ways. Shifting their entire conception of what gay means, making them gay while believing that it's straight, etc. These effects are also contagious and can be caught twice and the world quickly enters into mass-dysphoria.

>i wish i could travel for free for the rest of my life

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:VQw7KAUH Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:35:52 No.835721 Report

Quoted By: >>835739 >>835759 >>835766

>>835024
Everytime you do something straight, it is considered gay.

>I wish there was world peace.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:37:01 No.835737 Report

Quoted By: >>835849

Holy shit dude.
>>835666

fortune

fortune ID:StGSMreB Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:37:05 No.835739 Report

Quoted By:

>>835721
The world is at peace because everything has died.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:39:09 No.835759 Report

Quoted By:

>>835721
Total police state, nobody has the means to resist, thus ensuring world peace.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:40:22 No.835766 Report

Quoted By: >>835770 >>835776 >>835804

>>835718
Oppressive regime takes over the world rendering currency useless and sending you on a wild chase to free yourself from it
>>835721
The world is now at peace under marshal law.

>I wish that I was a cute girl of my preferred female body type

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:VQw7KAUH Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:41:18 No.835770 Report

Quoted By:

>>835766
You are, in your mind. Your still a mentally ill male.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:o1gVSvOD Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:41:44 No.835776 Report

Quoted By: >>835786

>>835766
But now everyone is an ugly man
>I wish for the Anglo to stop existing

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:43:19 No.835786 Report

Quoted By:

>>835776
All their accomplishments dissapear taking you out of existence with it

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zK7q2ztj Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:45:21 No.835804 Report

Quoted By: >>835849

>>835766
You are, but you are forever married to a copy of yourself in your current body, who you must fuck every single night.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mimolette-cheese-31722-1920x1200.jpg, 902KiB, 1920x1200

Anonymous ID:WZCdn3G/ Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:45:28 No.835805 Report

Quoted By: >>835828 >>835830

I wish I could go to equestria

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zK7q2ztj Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:47:34 No.835828 Report

Quoted By: >>835856

>>835805
You can, and you go as a pony. However, Equestria has also been taken over by ugly pony-fucking neckbeards...

I wish I could go to any concert in the world even if it wasn't in my town.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:47:40 No.835830 Report

Quoted By:

>>835805
Congrats, you are now nameless background pony #1386

You are plain and unnoticeable, you will never interact with anyone relevant

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:49:51 No.835849 Report

Quoted By:

>>835804
That's pretty ironically terrible actually.
>>835737
Brief rundown on what happened, I used the Monkey's Paw to get trips.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7pEedAbq Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:50:51 No.835856 Report

Quoted By: >>835885

>>835828
Mosh pit only.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1496294663748.jpg, 190KiB, 727x800

Anonymous ID:zOK51vLb Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:52:23 No.835877 Report

Quoted By: >>835935 >>835943

>>834880
I wish to become the holy crusader that purges all the evil niggers from my land

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zK7q2ztj Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:53:05 No.835885 Report

Quoted By:

>>835856
sounds good ta' me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kIuuojYu-A

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:57:50 No.835935 Report

Quoted By: >>835986

>>835877
You go to Constantinople

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zK7q2ztj Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:58:14 No.835943 Report

Quoted By: >>835956

>>835877
You successfully drive all warlords and criminals out of Africa... and into the Middle East where they join ISIS, whose ranks swell and they destroy the world.

I wish I could make my dick and size or shape I wanted whenever I wanted, and it was completely under my control.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9eR5nCcg Thu 01 Jun 2017 07:59:34 No.835956 Report

Quoted By: >>835982

>>835943
>detached from your body

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zK7q2ztj Thu 01 Jun 2017 08:02:32 No.835982 Report

Quoted By:

>>835956
>can walk around beating people with my club sized-and-shaped dick
>can leave my dick with my gf whenever we're apart so she can pleasure me remotely using it like a dildo
I can live with this desu.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zOK51vLb Thu 01 Jun 2017 08:03:25 No.835986 Report

Quoted By:

>>835935
this is a sacrifice im willing to take

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