>>8371991Oh sweetie I'm sorry I can't give you an answer on how to just make it stop. Nobody can. You're going to hurt for a long time and you may never be the same. Some things we can never forget but we don't need to let them define us or dominate our lives. The hardest part is knowing it's okay to feel like this. It's okay to cry for stupid reasons, it's okay to lock yourself out from everyone for a bit to listen to music, it's okay to walk through the memories daily and it's okay to talk about it. That's the most important part. Talk about it. There's people around you that can see you hurting and just want to be there for you to help you get through it. Tell those people how you feel and let them in.
Those ghosts will always haunt you so long as you don't face them and if you refuse to throw out the worst parts their body will rot in your closet and turn into a spoopy skeleton. Your memories will last a lifetime unless you really want to dislodge them with booze and drugs (don't recommend) and you'll have to learn to face them but keep moving.
I don't know who it is you lost but I can't understand losing family close to me because my parents are both invincible boomers in their 60's with multiple cancer survivals under their belt. Currently my mom just discovered a malignant tumor on her breast so we're pretty sure she has breast cancer.....my dad looks like shit but I have to keep going and stay strong. Will I cry when I visit her tonight? Yes. Will I cry when I get home? Yes. Will I shit up this board with my feels? YES but there are people here who care about me (SP, Bumstead, Kitchen.....even cute....).
You have to find an outlet for what you feel otherwise it WILL consume you and you'll live in it forever.
That doesn't mean forget. You should immortalize that person in your actions. When I lost....someone closer to me than anyone I changed my life from a life of warfare to one of peace to commemorate him.
Find your way.
