I've had only one girlfriend and I loved her dearly, she was really pretty and sweet and intelligent, but the relationship didn't work because I was too reclusive and too afraid to move the relationship forward so she said she couldn't do it anymore. I blame myself for not preserving the relationship because I became depressed and ghosted her after that. I could have saved it, but it;s too late now. She wasn't just my girlfriend but my best and only friend. I still love her a lot, and consider her a friend, but I'm too afraid to talk to her again. This was last year, in high school. In August I start my final year of high school and I'm absolutely terrified to see her again. I'm 18 now but I think I'll just be an incel for the rest of my life. I Don't know what else to do