>>850287Tired. All the time tired. Can't focus because you drink too much coffee to stay awake during the day because you stayed up all night again because laying down at night brings the bad thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness.
Despair. Despair when you realize doors of opportunity have closed and your family has moved on to younger members with more potential.
Constantly trying to pick up the pieces of your life but never being able to get them in balance. Having to force yourself to take showers, to go to bed at a reasonable hour, to eat food that isn't terrible for you, to try to do things to improve your situation.
Acting. Always acting "down" because if you act happy it can trigger your family members. When you are not working people resent it. You must be morose and nearly apologizing for you station at most times.
Anxiety. Anxiety over bills. With no steady income even $20 can wreck you. Overdrafts mean going to family or friends and asking for a handout.
Always a phone call you need to make. Always some forms you need to fill out. Waiting. Always waiting for them to get back to you. Waiting for months, years.
Having nothing of value of your own. Maybe a crappy car, but if it breaks down getting repair money can take months. Or you'll need to ask for help again.
Sitting for endless hours in front of the computer. Seeing the same things over and over. But you can't do anything else because there is nothing else to do.
Realizing as a virgin past 30 your chances of ever having sex are statistically less than 5%.
Health issues that start coming up over time because of your sedentary lifestyle. Neck and back issues. Gastrointestinal issues that come from eating a poor diet while you are up at night because you can't cook while others are sleeping. The lack of melatonin knocks your body out of balance and accelerates the aging process. You go bald early. You lose muscle mass and develop a gut.
I could go on, but I don't want to.
