>>8528636When I was in highschool I told a lie to myself and to the person who taught me how to love. She was a girl 15 I was a boy 15. Too young to realize what we were doing. I tore out the young heart of my now wife to commit myself to the next decade of suffering. In the beginning we would spend hours into the night lying about in her room picking each others brains and having sex to MCR (helena was the opening song on the mix) Hollywood undead and other trashy emo and alternative bands of the 2000's. She taught me to be okay with myself when I was beautiful but broken and I taught her she was beautiful in spite of her scars from years of self destruction. She was lewd, she was cute, she was confident and she was fun. At 15 I remember having just spent the last few hours together sharing secrets from our past crying and holding each other going outside to sit under the gazebo in her backyard while it was snowing. Under a blanket I looked her in the eyes and told her that I would love her forever. I meant it at that time. She was the first person to truly love ME.
Less than a year later she would disappear in a puff of smoke. I'd learn to hate her and resent having ever said that to her. I knew I'd only said it because I thought if I didn't she would bail.
A few years later. I'd be saying the same words again. I'm now 17 preparing to go to Afghanistan in a few months. I've been fighting medieval combat, had a good run of gf's and still finishing up at UMA when at a medieval combat event I fight someone I know. I know that body. It was her and we would reconnect. More long nights spent with her. Sneaking around her roommates place finding places to bang. Overstaying my welcome at someone elses place she's crashing at all to see her. A trip to vegas seems to be a good bet. Let her see what I am. I take the last of my money and we bail to the city literally designed for us. A playground of debauchery. I'm 17 and supposed to be preparing myself for war. Cont?
