>>8559910But that's not the only thing. If that was the only problem, you couldn't justify chemically and/or physically mutilating yourself. It's very likely you have problems in your life, you wanted a way out, and this was one of the few avenues available to you. You could run away, but to where would you run? You could fight back, but how would you ensure you wouldn't be punished for your actions? And doing that is hard. Getting the power needed to do that is hard. Demanding others do things for you. that's easy. All you have to do is grow your hair out, take some pills, put on some makeup, right? The world in all official capacity is obliged to cave to your choices now, for now the liability of suicide is not entirely on those who commit it!
And besides, women just have it better in life, don't they?! They can get men to do anything for them. Everyone cares more when women suffer than when men do. They can get jobs easier, get in to college easier, and no it doesn't matter that most of the "female" programmers are just broken men like you, the world has to act like you are whatever you say you are.
And sure, maybe you were messed up from the start. You'll probably say this and may have said it already in this thread I didn't read. But of course, you have to say this, in all situations, in order to get what you want, and if that's not really how it was, telling yourself the truth only makes it harder, so why tell the truth here? And if that's not the case, you've committed. You've sunk so much into this already, you can't turn back. You've got a reputation and you don't want to look like a hypocrite, especially not to all the strangers on the internet who convinced you to do what you did.
