So there I was, beaten the meat, spankin the monkey, takin the old one eyed pants anaconda to the vet. Right before I blasted off in the milky rocket, if ya catch my drift, there’s a knock at my door! Well fuck me sideways and take me to the zoo, who the fucks interrupting some good ol’ fashioned me and me bonding time? You might be asking yourself now, dear reader, “why am I reading about some guy slapping his salami on the internet, its 2AM in the goddamn morning and i have to be up in 4 hours!?” Well, hold your horses you impatient wankstain, I’m gettin there!