I had a dream about a week or two ago where Calvin was a real 6 year old and Hobbes a real tiger.

Then Hobbes, being a real tiger, went up to a mother cat and started mauling her kitten to death, waving it around like a rag doll.

Once he stopped, Tony the tiger came out of nowhere and said menacingly "I'm going to turn your shoulders into shoulder blades!!"
...Methinks you need a melatonin prescription for a reason.