Listen... Don't talk to me like I'm some kinda fuckin' chump, alright? 'Cause I'm not. I'm a business man, a family man, a man of the people, a man of the church, man of the country, I'm a patriot, a veteran, a man of God, missionary, a postman, I work at Jamba Juice, OK? My dog is spayed, I got letters ready for me at the Notary Republic, I know a cobbler, I-I-I make my own quilts, love eggs, I shop locally, I, uh, support local causes, I take a cruise ship every 3 months, I wear reading glasses, uh, my daughter has braces, my eyebrows are shaved, and my friends are all geese, I live in a house, I have a head, my clothes are all combustible, uh, my medicine is all over the counter except for one prescription, I, uh, I have a shirt that reads "If you don't like me, I'll go fuck your MOTHER!", I, uh, am inside of the matrix, I live in a home with no windows, I, uh, have lasers inside my brain, there's a shark in my bathroom, my dog sleeps in my bed with me, I have a mouse under the rug, my friends are all dead, I went to India once, I like bowling. So don't talk to me like I'm some kinda fuckin' chump, alright? Because I'm not.
