>>896330>>896432Yeah I've looked up those fatherless stats too. You're right.
Here's my thing: my dad grew up without his dad around (he left when he was 8). My dad's older brother, who is a bigger bloke, got into lots of trouble. Burning stuff, destroying stuff. He got sent to a young offender's prison or something. My dad didn't do that stuff though - he dabbled in drugs for a bit but generally he was a quieter kid.
Thing is, he's had a lot of self-hatred his whole life, he thinks his dad hated him (I've heard his dad was a bit of a bully and an alcoholic), he's very self-critical. He's had depression problems. But he's been pretty successful, made good money, provided for me and my brother.
But here's the rub - I'm not speaking to my dad these days, because he cheated on my mum which resulted in divorce (although really my dad had given up on the marriage years ago, and he was just angry and reclusive all the time). He wanted to be a "good dad" and many ways he was. But anyway, now he's marrying some new chick, and I don't really care about that (he's had other girlfriends since the divorce and I had no problem with that). But now he just expects me and my brother to feel happy for him. But we have a mum too, who definitely came off worse (emotionally) in the divorce. She felt hurt. So my dad wants me to go to his wedding and shit, and I'm just like, fuck that.
It doesn't help that I quit my job and now I'm doing fuck all. I really should do something. I used to ask him for advice, but then he just kept giving me bullshit platitudes. I think the divorce has made him arrogant. As I say, he won out emotionally. My mum felt fucked over. Now my dad only cares about spending money on himself and wanting me and my brother to be happy for his new shit. Nah, fuck that.
Anyway whatever. You're right that father figures are important. Part of me thinks I should talk to me dad, but then I'm thinking fuck that, I'm not going to fucking grovel.
