(Pic is completely unrelated)

Anyone up for feels or some shit? Well i don't care im just leaving this here so i can feel a little better about myself. Its just a story of why im a tumor attached to someone else's brain.

Along time ago i was born along side my brother who is fucking retarded. Not a complete potato but still an ape nonetheless. He needed shit-tons of help for his social skills and his problem solving skills since has i have mentioned before is a fucking idiot. Then i came along a small innocent mess that just wanted love and care from parents who were busy dealing with retards problems.

I loved them so much. And i thought they loved me back too. Its just when i ever had any problems that i wanted help with they would say "Retard has it worse"or some shit like that and so i stopped talking. And so we grew my brother grew better bit by bit and him and the rest of my family had laughs,they had sad moments, they lived. And they were all perfectly happy without me.It was if i didn't even exist.

One day,I dont really know when it just happened i realised something. They didn't need me. They didn't love me. I thought they loved me but they didn't. I trusted them and they spat in my face for years and i was just too stupid to recognize it. I couldnt believe i was so stupid why did i allow that to happen to me? How could i have trusted those fucking liars.

Oh god sometimes i want to hurt them so badly it makes me feel uncomfortable but i still wont.I cant becomes friends with anyone for too long since if i become too comfortable i think,"How do they REALLY feel about you?" And i panic and then do something stupid and ruin everything.

I cant even blame them and thats the worst part but its not gonna change how i feel about them. I know still that i just really want to be loved or something like that. God i just want a genuine hug or some shit

Thank you for reading through all this who ever you are.