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Alright. Well lets start with my alcoholic mormon fundamentalist abusive father and look the other way mom. Dad loved nothing more than blaming the fact that my brother was born with down syndrome on me since you know I was adopted. Every time he would rant about how his life was ruined by kids how he had a boat, a house and everything he ever wanted then it would end with him looking straight at me to say "you ruined my entire life with how worthless you are". After that he'd hit me with whatever was around (beer bottles, belts, switches from the backyard and the infamous Captain Morgan bottle)
Childhood wasn't great either growing up in gangland with the option of beheaded by Paco and his gang or hooked on crack sucking Jamal's dick just to get shot in a turf war. Most of my friends and I would pull small jobs stealing, mugging, B&E, boosting cars, etc. until we started to turn on each other. I never learned to trust anyone most especially my mother since she would always look the other way when my dad whooped the shit out of me. Made it really hard to make friends so most of my life I was a loner. When I would make friends they'd take advantage of me like my favorite cousin. We use to kick it and skateboard until he started molesting me. He never raped me but had me suck his dick during games of truth or dare. After that I wandered around the desert killing animals. I had a fondness of fire and animals so I thought I'd combine the two. Was more satisfying than I would've ever thought. One time I had the opportunity for a sleeping hobo but wasn't ready to take that step yet.
Look man I really don't want to get into all the shit that fucked me up between my upbringing, women using me to toss me away and generally not having any time to process the endless trauma (not the whiny baby kind the I got mugged and watched my homie get raped then killed kind).
I'd much rather suck your dick and have you make fun of me this shit sucks to talk about.
