[19 / 3 / ?]
>be American.
>Eat "imitation Cheese Food" every day for 12 years straight.
>After 12 years and one day suffer heart attack.
>Wake up in dumpster next to hospital because I only own the bronze "better dead than red" healthcare package.
>Find healthcare bill stapled to my forehead.
"Your payment is $12,000 please report to your nearest freedomᵗᵐ outlet"
>Try to exhale as I roll over onto my healthy 400lb flabbering stomach.
>Tip dumpster, for the patroitic duty that it served.
>Roll away down the alleyway to the freedom outlet.
>Suddenly the Americanᵗᵐ Anthemᵗᵐ starts playing through the speakers on the street.
>Expend 12,000MJ of energy getting to upright seated position, hand on my whale-blubber coated heart.
>"OHH SAY CAN YOU SEEE"
>IT'S TOO MUCH.
>My healthy American body can't handle the pure, patriotic jubilation.
>Start to suffer another heart attack.
>"I should be ok, Leading Doctorsᵗᵐ say 2 heart attacks a day make the commies go away"
>Wake up this time to see my kidneys being stolen by 2 hardworking white-bred American workers.
>Tip them for their effort.
>Finish the Americanᵗᵐ Anthemᵗᵐ as it is illegal not to.
>Well up thinking of the freedom my country exemplifies.
>"Thank God I'm American".
>Eat "imitation Cheese Food" every day for 12 years straight.
>After 12 years and one day suffer heart attack.
>Wake up in dumpster next to hospital because I only own the bronze "better dead than red" healthcare package.
>Find healthcare bill stapled to my forehead.
"Your payment is $12,000 please report to your nearest freedomᵗᵐ outlet"
>Try to exhale as I roll over onto my healthy 400lb flabbering stomach.
>Tip dumpster, for the patroitic duty that it served.
>Roll away down the alleyway to the freedom outlet.
>Suddenly the Americanᵗᵐ Anthemᵗᵐ starts playing through the speakers on the street.
>Expend 12,000MJ of energy getting to upright seated position, hand on my whale-blubber coated heart.
>"OHH SAY CAN YOU SEEE"
>IT'S TOO MUCH.
>My healthy American body can't handle the pure, patriotic jubilation.
>Start to suffer another heart attack.
>"I should be ok, Leading Doctorsᵗᵐ say 2 heart attacks a day make the commies go away"
>Wake up this time to see my kidneys being stolen by 2 hardworking white-bred American workers.
>Tip them for their effort.
>Finish the Americanᵗᵐ Anthemᵗᵐ as it is illegal not to.
>Well up thinking of the freedom my country exemplifies.
>"Thank God I'm American".
