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Ocean explorer, have I ever told you about my former fiancé, Caledon Hockley? He once took me on a luxurious trip aboard the most majestic vessel created by man. A great man of many virtues and success, he used to pamper me and shower me with expensive gifts, basically treating me like a Queen. Oh, he loved me so very dearly and with utter loyalty, this made me hate his guts and thus I was even considering suicide just to escape from his kindness and affection. I showed him how grateful I was by cheating on him with a poor lower-class bum, who hadn't taken a bath in month and had achieved nothing of worth in his entire life. After spreading my legs for him, I watched him die horribly in freezing water, from the comfort of a piece of wood that had room for two but that I kept only for myself. I'm telling you this, because even though I've only known this bum for a couple of days and I now have a loyal husband, loving children and grandchildren, even to this day, the thrill of cheating with a dirty no-gooder just to spite Cal and watching the life escape from his eyes as his body shut down from agonizing hypothermia is still the best memory of my life and still gives my old vagina shivering tingles. I stole one of Cal's most valuable diamond necklaces, but not before leaving him a gratuitous letter filled with poisonous insults, and after we made it back to shore, I never talked to him again. Cal killed himself shortly afterwards due to financial distress. Although the diamond necklace is still to this day worth an immense fortune and holds significant historical value for you, I just threw it in the ocean on a whim 5 minutes ago. Did you know it belonged to the great King Louis XVI? I can't imagine the trouble Cal went through just to obtain it for me. He was a good fiancé.
