I met this British woman online, and the bants stared early when she mentioned she lived in France for some time and hated it. I responded like so:

"An English person, not liking France? I thought you guys were supposed to be quite close!"

She didn't know I was being sarcastic, and explained that the French and Brits didn't like each other. So I started to double down.

"Well, in America, we learned that we actually taught the Native Americans how to beat box."

"Also, the French Revolution is also a type of game show invented in the 1700's involving a large wheel"

And so on.

The next day, I sent her a pic (pic related), and asked if those phrases were actually real. She said that for the most part, they were. I was in tears laughing.

She then hit me with the Cheeky Nandos. She made me promise not to look it up, but to merely guess what she meant. Those of you who know of Cheeky Nandos know what she did.

And now I need to get even. She has kids/takes care of kids, so I'm thinking about leading out a conversation about how the only vaccinations shot that Americans believe in is of the Buck variety.

I don't necessarily need ideas, but I do need practice. I want to hone my bants game. Brits and Aussies, come at me. All are welcome, of course, but I need to have a targeted practice here.

Help me out, /bant/!