Oh, say can you see by the store's early light
What so proudly they saled, at the walmart's last closing?
Filled with chocolate and lard, whetting our appetites,
While we gorged, we began intestinally disposing?

And our colons they bled, our underwear turned red,
Our only thought was if the aisle, was truly designated.
Oh, say does that fecal-smeared patriot shart
O'er the land of the free and the home of the mart?