I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like everything is pointless and the quality of my life, wheher better or worse has no lasting effect on my perception of meaning. I'm bairly started college, but I nentheless feel thet my life has dragged on far too long. I have an IQ of 135 but it doesn't help me achieve any kind of happiness and I have found that the only way to make life bearable is to drown myself in liqure. I have tried to quit by habitual drinking but I simply can not stop. My thoughts become darker and darker, and the only way to suppress the negative thoughts is to stop my brain from functioning with excessive quantities of liquor.