I really don't know where else to post this, I just want to be anonymous rn.

I was raped and molested/touched in 2018. One dude was a friend kinda, and the other was my then boyfriend at the time.


I cannot tell anyone, I refuse to. But, I want to see a therapist someday..the issue it- I'm afraid they will force me to tell my family or to go tell the police. I know they can't, but I've heard horror stories that say otherwise. I just want to let it go, but I keep fucking having flashbacks, and it ruined sex being on the table with relationships pretty much, b/c I'm so disgusted by him and what he did. I haven't dated or touched anyone since. I'm so touch starved but it fucking bothers me so I'm screwed. What do I do???