>>9655656I get pretty bad hypochondria. Every little cough or sneeze is going to kill me, or at least I think it will.
But over the last few weeks I’ve had a cough, and with the corona virus around, it scared the shit out of me. But this time for real coz I was in Asia recently.
what I always hoped was that my nerves and preoccupation with death might help soften the blow when it finally occurs. But what I discovered is that it was pointless. When things go serious, it doesn’t soften anything.
As others have said, the sooner you can accept the better. But that’s easier said than done. And probably feels unnatural. I know it does for me with my illnesses.
You’ll go through your stages of grief. But you’ll, hopefully, end up at acceptance long enough to enjoy your remaining time.
On the plus side - you’ll never experience the slow and degenerative effects of age. You’ll only know health and strength. And that’s what will make your experience so much more difficult. Because for someone of my age, I’ve already started to experience the great decline.
I’m in my late 30s but already there are things I used to enjoy but can’t anymore:
> lots of sugar > simple understandings of the world >honest belief in the good of people> sex isn’t as fun anymore > you don’t enjoy the carnal liusr of sexuality to the same degree.And it just gets worse and worse as you age.
as you age you start to look for substitutes for these losses. You start to appreciate maturity of things, culture, class and these sorts of things.
But the reality is, life is just prepping you for death ever so slowly. By taking away the little things you enjoy, piece by piece until you sort of want to be dead. I know plenty of 90 year olds in that situation.
The tragedy in your case is you don’t get to experience the natural decline. You are jumping straight to death. And that is an injustice.
