I am a senior engineer involved in a highly classified, multi-billion dollar project sponsored by the governments of the United States, China, Russia, and India. I have no doubt that this project will be made well known to the public some years from now, and will change the course of human history. But I beleive that it is my duty to share some of what we have uncovered with the world immediately. I can't say much more about the project itself, but I can tell you that what we have discovered has changed our entire understanding of physics, and has completely overturned our understanding of the nature of reality. Einstein's relativity and quantum mechanics are now able to be reconciled in a unified theory thanks to the revelations this project has uncovered. We are calling this monumental discovery, the piece of the puzzle that has been missing for so long, Log Theory. Log Theory states that there is nothing hotter than sucking a creamy log of shit out of Andy Sixx's asshole. His rich, fragrant log sliding effortlessly down ones gaping throat makes drowning in shit a fate one can only pray for. With a stomach full of hot logs I could die a happy man.
