I like to believe that POSTUMs is the reason I look like this. I mean, it solves every single digestive issue that coffee causes. Every. Single. One. Brain-fag? Begone. Dyspepsia? Make way for POSTUMs. Fatigue? Not anymore! How about heart problems? Not on POSTUMs! It's literally a miracle product! You brew it like normal coffee too, and it goes perfectly with the breakfast of champions: bacon, eggs, toast, and a buttload of bacon and eggs to top off the toast.
Now I can forgive some people for being speculative. After all, coffee has been around for a millennia and they've never had those problems before. Well, they'd be forgiven for thinking such things. It's quite sad that Big Coffee suppresses all information that's released about POSTUMs food coffee. I equate it to how Big Wallet tries to sell you fancy bifold leather wallets. Why should I get a bifold when I can have an even fancier trifold wallet? It's the exact same situation. Trifolds look nicer and are harder for hooligans to take from you, so why not get one?
POSTUMs food coffee is the way of the future, and don't you forget it anon.