Quoted By:
>be american
>wake up and salute the flag on my wall
>eat breakfast of three double down four cheese triple bacon ultra calorie muffins and a diet coke (watching my figure)
>get onto scooter to go to work
>pass elementary school
>see shooter going in
>tip shooter for being a good american gun owner
>get to work
>tip scooter
>clock in
>an hour into shift a nigger walks in with a glock
>starts shoving stock into underwear
>tell him to leave
>he says "consider it my tips whitey"
>good point, tip him as slavery reparations
>nigger leaves
>clock out
>get back on scooter
>need inhaler from climbing on
>nice day so take the long way home
>see a mcdonalds, decide to enter because I had a light breakfast anyway
>get to the counter
>start ordering in numbers
>the school shooter bursts in, shoots me in the chest
>tip the bullet wound
>miraculously it stops the bleeding
>pass out
>wake up in hospital
>doctor says it will be $39,999 plus tips
>fox news team bursts in
>want to interview me about the shooting
>say I survived because of my strong american spirit
>tip interviewer
