>>9873724I became obsessed with this girl that I almost dated and I really wanted her. She was very supportive and nice. I was a in closet trans and she helped me feel comfortable enough to leave the closet. She did like me but I wa last an automated edge lord and just wanted to be friends you know. But I actually tried with this relationship lol. I let my whole guard down and only expected good things. We would have great morning with each other but at night she had like these super big mental issues and self doubt anxiety problems I couldn’t help with. She said “your 17 and I’m 15 so I don’t want to be look at as a whore” She went to fall in love with some guy who was great at manipulating people and he was 18 and he tried to go after her too so it was very upsetting and hurt a lot. I never had anxiety issues at all. That’s why I was such an edge lord. I never cared what anyone thought. But after this I was like “oh I have to make sure she thinks good of me because maybe she will see I’m actually not a total loser, what if others think I’m a loser I should prolly start to care” and then it became a constant thought of what did other think of me, and I don’t want to be alone. I could never let her go it was horrible. We were in theater and stuff so I like always saw her every day. It was the worst. I started having anxiety breakdowns and I started smoking a lot of weed with these new friends I made. I was also a very sheltered kid. The first time I went downtown was with the girl. I was 16 lol.
When I came out as a mentally ill gender dysphoric teen. I was kicked out of my house, forced to live with a friend for a bit then go up to my dads in a diffrent state for the summer. I told him and the family up there about me being a tranny. He hasn’t really talked to me Spence. the bottom was when I just let the anxiety take control and I was always on edge, I basically became scared of her, and I became very needy and comfermation on everything
