>>992426>you have to find your own meaningI did that. I realized my own meaning was doing something, creating something, being someone. And unfortunately being a parasite doesn't line up with that meaning.
I did some research, tried to figure out how longterm NEETs live, how people who made my choices look like 10 years from now. I don't want to look like them, I don't want to look like a 30+ year old NEET, it brings me revulsion. I feel like it's the epitome of human weakness and I only feel disgust towards my lifestyle, let alone longer term neets.
And it seems they feel the same way, perhaps subconsciously.
It appears 30-40+ year old NEETs DO end up working, eventually. Generally in a grocery store. I've seen 40+ year old balding men, fat as all hell working at my nearest supermarket, stuttering like a fucking downie.
I looked at them in the eyes and knew. They were NEETs before.
I'm not going to be a NEET, I'm thankful for my two years wasted. Living worse than in a prison of maximum security. I learned who I want to be, and who I don't want to be.
Thank you for reading. I hope your suicide is neither painful nor prolonged.
