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Do you know what asses are? Asses are the human race's favorite thing. We like them on each other, we like them on magazine covers, we even like them on babies! When it itches, we like to scratch them, when its cold, we like to warm them, and who among us, in a lonely moment hasn't reached back for a discreet fondle? When God gave us our asses he had to stick them round the back just so we wouldn't sit and stare at them all day. Cause when God made the ass he didn't say "Hey it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early." He said "Behold ye angels, I have created the ass. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these and shout my name!"
